I feel like Valentine’s Day is a misunderstood holiday. Many think it is commercially manufactured and I get it. But, I say why not celebrate any day we can?!

Then there’s the big misconception that all women need to feel loved is flowers and chocolate. I’m here to call out the traditional cop out of the gift you can get at any local gas station. As a woman and mom we want so much more than what can be retrieved from Gas N Go.

If you really want to win at Love Day this year here is What Moms Really Want: 

What Moms Really Want for Valentines

To Be Noticed-

A lot of what we do as moms is easy to miss. Things like changing diapers, keeping the house clean, preparing meals, folding laundry, making sure all the right foods/snacks are supplied or that your favorite kind of soap is refilled.

I realize none of it is glamorous or demands attention. But, often times it takes a good chunk of our time up and no one notices.

So, what we really want is for you to notice and acknowledge that what we do for our family takes time, love and attention.

You could write it in a card if you feel so inclined but honestly a hug and any form of recognition would suffice.

To Be Appreciated-

Going right along with the “to be noticed” section. Moms are always thinking of the next thing that needs to be done or trying to think ahead to the car ride that’s going to happen while she runs errands and decide what kind of snacks/toys need to be brought along so the kids are happy. Basically she’s running defense 24/7.

Related: Healthy Toddler Snacks on The Go

So, what we would like is for you to say a simple thank you! A form of appreciation is the sweetest sound. A sincere “thank you for what you do for your family everyday” is better than diamonds (hold up, maybe I should say better than chocolate cuz diamonds are nice).

To Be Listened To-

Life is busy and often by the time you are home with your spouse/partner you are in the groove of getting everything done for the evening and starting to prepare for the next day.

With the hustle and bustle continuing and you both being exhausted from the day it’s easy just to tune out and Netflix or scroll your phone.

Instead, moms would love for you to put down all distractions. Make us feel like you want to hear what we have to say(because it’s very likely that we haven’t talked to an adult all day).

Look us in the eyes and listen! Even if it’s about how little precious smacked her ten times today or she found a great deal on toothpaste. Whatever it is or how insignificant it seems, listen!

To feel heard is one of the greatest gifts you can give a mom(I’m pretty sure this goes for anyone).

To Have Alone Time-

There’s a quote from Date Night when Tina Fey’s(I love her!) character says, “All I want is to drink a Sprite alone in a hotel room.” It cracked me up at the time, but now I totally get it!

Sometimes having just a little bit of alone time can make you a whole new woman and mom. We need time to remember who we are and just breathe.

It doesn’t have to be a hotel room, although, that’d be nice. It could just be a solo trip to Target or a car ride for one. There are many ways to achieve this, but just know that we need some “me” time.

I’m not saying that we don’t love family time, we do, but we also need time to recharge so we can be the best for our families. So, the best Valentine’s gift you might give your lady is an empty room and a cold beverage.

Related: 10 Ways Mama Can Get a Break

To Have Help-

You know what my version of sexy is…when my husband is pushing a vacuum or a stroller! That is when he is the absolute most attractive to me.

I think it’s because of what it stands for. I can do either of these things just fine by myself, but him helping me signifies that we are in this together.

Moms and dads both have a million things on our plates and I know our wheels are constantly spinning with the next things we need to do mark of the “to-do” list.

But, if our fellas really want to give us a gift of love…help us! As Jerry McGuire says, “help me, help you!”

Related: How to Keep a Strong Marriage After Baby

It can be any type of help. Clean up the kitchen, put away the toys, give the kids a bath, or even push in the chairs to the table after dinner(we even notice that stuff). Help can come in many shapes but it’ll always speak to our hearts.

To Be Understood-

It’s easy to feel like no one gets you. No one knows how much you do or how much you prepare or plan.

So, if you really want to make us moms feel loved take time to slow down and hear us or watch what we do so you can understand why we might have an occasional emotional break down.

The words, “I understand” hold a lot of power and make us feel like you see us.

To Get to Sit Down-

No honey, you sit down, I’ll pick up all the toys strewn around the living room. This is just one example of how you can pamper you lady for Valentine’s Day.

Moms literally never sit down. Especially if they have toddlers that have recently discovered walking, climbing and diving off every piece of high furniture.

Related: Toddler Schedules That Make Your Day Go Smoothly

So, one of the loveliest things you could do for a mom is to say “sit down, I’ve got this.” Treat her like guest for the evening(one that can walk around without a bra on).

To Get to be the Fun One-

Ah, the fun one. I feel like dads naturally get to be the fun one. I’m pretty sure it’s because they don’t think about the million things that could go wrong with any given scenario or that they could be starting a horrible habit that’ll continue into adulthood.

You know like allowing your little one to throw things at the wall or by throwing things at them(kind of like dodge ball style but dad vs. toddler).

Moms are always the one that step in and bring things back to a safe place or the ones that discipline the child for throwing the things at the wall(because dad did it).

But, on Valentine’s Day we need the men to take one for the team and let mom be the fun one for a change. Let her be the one that offers sweets right before bed or that doesn’t make the kids clean up their toys.

Go ahead men, you can handle it for a day (you’ll resume your reigning position tomorrow).

There you have it…brilliant and FREE ideas to make the mom in your life feel loved and appreciated this Valentine’s Day.

So, pick one or more if you’re feeling super loving. And if you insist on doing the whole flower and chocolate thing. Make sure they are quality flowers and the best chocolate because she deserves it.

Because what’s the saying, “If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” I know it’s so eloquent.

***Disclaimer: my husband is amazing and does a lot of these things a lot of the time. Love you boo!***