But for real…how do moms find time for themselves?! Regardless of what kind of mom you are; working mom, stay at home mom, new mom or veteran mom. We all have one thing in common…
Time moving at literal warp speed and our brain trying to keep up with our never ending mental load “to-do” list.
There’s never enough time to give all the kids equal attention (plus your partner). There’s never enough time to do all the laundry, wash the dishes, pick up the mess (again) and decide what to make for dinner (again).
Well thankfully, a fellow mom friend, me 🙋♀️, is here to help you figure out some helpful ways to actually find mom time without feeling guilty for taking time away from your other demands.
But first, it’s important to understand why mom time matters. And how taking time for yourself can actually end up giving back to your family in the long run.
And spoiler alert, no one can “do it all.” You just have to figure out what’s worth doing.
Understanding the Need: Why Mom Time Matters
We’ve all heard the saying, “you can’t pour from an empty cup” so much that you probably just roll your eyes by this point because it sounds good in theory but how actually do we fill our cup back up?! I mean, who has time for that?!
We’ll get there, but first I want to remind you of what happens when you keeping pouring from said empty cup.
You end up neglecting any type of self-care (sometimes even down to brushing your teeth, me raising my hand). Your mental health takes such a massive hit that you forget about any dreams you once had.
Then eventually you’ll completely break down and find yourself having a panic attack in your closet. And, I’m speaking from experience.
And even more seriously you could end up sick or depressed becasue you’ve neglected your own needs for so long. Yes, your needs matter too!
By the end of this post I want you to be able to recognize your own needs and start taking the first step to being your best self for you!
Because you matter too! Actually, you matter first! But, we don’t want to say that because it sounds selfish. In reality, it’s just factual.
You know, like you put your oxygen mask on first kind of thing.
Where Does the Time Go? A Look at Everyday Life
For real, where does the time go?! Today was a good example. I literally just did some household tasks like folding clothes, putting away dishes and picking up some messes. Then all of a sudden it was late afternoon. I felt like I had done alot but did not have a lot to show for it.
Often those type of chores fall under the mom category. You know grocery shopping, work meetings, child care and the never-ending to-do list.
All of them of super important but don’t really get noticed…unless it wasn’t there. For example; no one notices when there is enough toilet paper but when it’s gone…they’ll notice.
Then you move onto having young kids and the need to constantly keep them safe (I’m looking at you knife drawer) and also keep them from putting bird poop or other gross things in their mouths.
There are the short naps that take longer to get them to sleep than they actually stay asleep.
And I dare you to try to take phone calls or make an appointment because it is like a calling card for the kids to start screaming at each other or yelling, “mom, will you wipe my bottom.”
The myth that we all have enough hours or the same hour in a day is a lie!
BUT, I can tell you how even a little bit of time matters in a big way!
Let’s chat about creative ways to carve out time for yourself. You know, think smarter, not harder!
Creative Ways to Carve Out Time (Even With a Busy Schedule)
Having a lose plan in mind is a great way to figure out what is most important to you.
At the beginning of the day (or week) jot down somethings that you really want to get done for yourself. I use a cute planner like this one to help me keep track of everything!
Write down things that bring you JOY and LIFE.
Then, start thinking about ways to carve out time to get them completed (or at least started).
5 Realistic Ways BUSY MOMS CAN MAKE TIME FOR THEMSELVES:
1. Using nap time and quiet time as windows for personal time.
- This one of my favorite ways to find time to work on my business, chill or try to squeeze a work out in. Or, let’s be real just sit in silence.
- It makes the most sense because all the kids are occupied giving you time to be alone and tend to things that fill your cup.
- But, what if your kid doesn’t know what to do during quiet time? Here are some simple and creative ways to come up with a handful of activities your older kids can do on their own during quiet time.
2. Building a flexible but realistic daily routine with dedicated times for YOURSELF.
- If you’re not a planner this may make you squirm a bit, but no need to feel uncomfortable. The type of daily routine I’m talking about is flexible. Think more of a rhythm and once you have it set up, it’ll actually give you some quiet time to tend to your own needs.
- Here are some editable printable that I use to keep our family on track!
3. Waking up a bit earlier with an alarm clock (if you’re a morning person).
- Blah, my least favorite or at least the most challenging but it’s still a real possibility and has a ton of benefits.
- When you get up before the kids you are able to get som quiet time to yourself before the chaos of the day begins. Before anyone needs you. You’re able to pour into yourself first!
- You’re most likely able to mark some things off your to-do list and stream together some coherent thoughts without hearing MOM yelled over and over again.
- So, this is a great option but don’t beat yourself up if this isn’t realistic for your life right now. You might still having a nursing baby that is up at the crack of dawn or a toddler that sleeps with you and will wake up as soon as you get out of bed.
- That’s ok! Seasons come and go. Just pick one of the other options right now and remember there is no “right way.” There’s only what works for you and your family.
- But, if you need help becomming a morning person. I highly recommend this book:
4. Making use of screen time strategically — without guilt.
- Say it with me, WITHOUT GUILT! I still struggle with the guilt part because there is so much judgment around screens but that’s when we go back to the “there’s no right way to do things” motto!
- Screen time can be an awesome tool! (I’m actually using it now so I can write this to you.) You can play an educational show (if you choose) while you have a solid time block to get time for yourself. Honestly sometimes I have to think which is better, me losing my mind and probably yelling or recognizing that I need a minute and turn on a show for them so I don’t become someone I don’t want to be. You feel me?!
- Also, if you’re worried about too much screen time. I have a screen time tracker in my Summer Survival Kit that is editable and super helpful to keep track of the time so you don’t fall into the screen time abyss.
5. Letting go of perfection and embracing little things like a hot cup of coffee or a cup of tea.
- And let’s be real. Some days any type of extended alone time just won’t happen and that’s okay.
- Don’t let social media convince you you’re a bad mom because you don’t have the picture perfect day. Instead choose to embrace those small imperfect moments. You know the ones. You’re house is an absolute mess but the kids are happy (hopefully) and they’ve actually playing together without fighting. Here’s your window. Pour a cup of coffee. Sit down and take it in. Go ahead, romanticize your life!
- These kids you’ve worked so hard for and that you were created to guide and nurture. Take a moment to appreciate that without feeling like you have to constantly be doing.
- I know that’s hard but you might be surprised what you see if you challenge yourself in that way. Then right it down! Because in a few seconds from now everyone will be losing their minds and you’ll forget all about that peaceful moment.
Practical Tips for All Moms
- New parents:
- You should only have TWO things on your “to-do” list during those early postpartum days. One, keep your child alive. Two, keep yourself alive. That’s it!
- Utilize your spouse. Tell them how you REALLY feel and what you REALLY need! You are not meant to do this alone. And, if you don’t have a spouse ask a family members or friends for help!
- Getting alone time right now is pretty hard so instead here are some helpful tips for you:
- Working moms:
- Use commute time, lunch breaks, or schedule date nights and downtime just like a meeting.
- Schedule time for yourself! If it’s not on the calendar, it usually doesn’t happen. Block out time for you like you would a work meeting or a kid’s appointment. Whether it’s a walk, a bath, or 20 minutes of reading—it’s not selfish, it’s survival.
- Say NO without explaining. Protect your time by gently saying no to things that drain you or don’t align with your current season. You don’t owe anyone a perfect excuse. Creating margin is one of the best ways to reclaim space for yourself.
- Stay-at-home moms:
- Set up a play area that you know will occupy your kids for at least 15 minutes. Here are some indoor activities to help get that started!
- Use support groups, and ask family members for help.
- Create a daily window (30–60 minutes) where everyone does something solo: books, puzzles, quiet play, or screens if needed. Call it “quiet time” and treat it like part of the routine. It’s not just for them—it’s for you to reset, breathe, or just be still.
- Go to the library – while the kids are playing you could sneak in a few minutes to write in your journal, read a book or just brainstorm!
No matter what stage or type of motherhood you are in making time for creative pursuits, personal interests, and social life is vital!
It reminds you of who you are and what you are dreaming of without letting motherhood take on your full identity.
You don’t have to have it all figured out over night. Any SMALL CHANGE leads to huge differences. Figure out one small step you can take and start there.
Remember, it’s YOUR life!
- Finding time for yourself isn’t about having much time, it’s about making the best of the time you have.
- You don’t need to do everything — just a little time goes a long way.
- When you prioritize your own needs, you show up as your best version for everyone else.
- So, go ahead. Put down your phone and go write down one small step you can take today to start taking some time to yourself. Because you matter too! Your dreams matter and you deserve to go after them!
I promise any time you invest in yourself will make you a better mom, woman and human! I’m so glad you’re here!
Warmly 💛
Lindsey
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