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The Struggle is Real


I just wanted to share my current challenge/struggle. As you know by now I recently became a full time mom and it’s true what people say, it’s the most challenging job I’ve ever had. Well, add onto that the fact that it doesn’t pay, well at least monetarily. It does pay in smiles, kiss, cuddles and coos. Cheesy I know but if it were a perfect world I would much rather be paid that way. But reality says momma needs to help bring home the bacon. That leads to the many clouded thoughts about ways to bring in an income and still be able to spend the maximum amount of time with Foster. Here are my thoughts so far in not particular order, kind of…

Blogging: being able to make money blogging is my BHAG (big, hairy, audacious goal), but it is just that. It’s scary! I’ve researched how to start a blog, well one that I am able to self host. I’m getting there slowing but surely, but let me emphasize slowly! The thought of being able to make money for writing is an absolute dream. It intimidates me though, why would people want to read what I have to say. But then I hear my dad’s voice in my head, “Why not me?” I want to read what other bloggers write and they are just women talking about their life or what they are doing with it. So, maybe, just maybe people will want to read about mine. That’s still unknown but I’m going to give it my best effort.

Fitness Instructor: Again this has been in the back of my head for a while as something I think I would be good at to help people. As soon as I get all pumped about it the doubt enters. I’m not a super toned person, so why would anyone want to be instructed by me. Then I have to go back and think that I’m not totally out of shape either. I’m still capable of helping people. So, this remains an option for me.

Pre-School Teacher: This is what I know. I’ve been a teacher for eight years, so I know how to teach and work with kids. Don’t get me wrong, I do love it. But when I’ll need to put my own little boy in a class with other people watching him just so I can take care of other people’s kids…it somehow looses it’s appeal. As Alanis Morissette says, “isn’t it ironic, don’t ya think?” As I write this I realize that this would be the comfortable choice. It would not challenge me or even pay me that well. Yet, I have an interview this afternoon about a possible position. Isn’t it crazy how we’re drawn back to what is comfortable. It’s like sitting in your own poop, at least it’s yours. Well, I don’t want to sit in my own poop!

Transcriber: Again, not a dream job but a way to possibly bring in a few bucks here and there. So, there’s not much else to say about it. Not very deep. Just a thought to help make money.

Dog Walker: I thought of this option not because I’m passionate about dogs. I love my own but that’s about all I’m interested in. I thought about it because it’s logical. I live in a neighborhood full of families with dogs, so I’m sure people need assistance in this area.

Tutoring: This is another option that is logical for me. I’ve mentioned my teaching background and I do love learning and helping people learn. So, this one is pretty high on my list.

As I go back and read over the list I’ve made I realized there is fear threaded throughout it. Fear of the unknown or not being about to be successful doing something different than I have ever done. Well, as my husband says, this is my chance to do something different. I want to choose the uncomfortable option. My number one goal right now is to become a blogger. Yes, I’m blogging now but I want to be a real blogger. One that has a ton of followers and touches lives daily through my words. So, I guess you helped me decide it. My BHAG is decided. Now stay tuned to see how this plays out! As my dad would have said, “let’s go get ’em!”

What is your BHAG(big, hairy, audacious goal)?

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