After finding out I was pregnant with my son I was simultaneously aware of how much control I did NOT have! There was so much going on inside me and in my life that I had zero say over.
Then, when my son was born I still had very little control (if any) over things going on and I had SO many questions. And you know who is always available morning, noon and night (mostly night) when you have questions…GOOGLE!
Oh Google, my night time companion. You see this is when most of my freak out sessions happened or when I had a second to think and ponder all the things I knew nothing of (which was a lot).
I had a little newborn looking to me for protection, nourishment and guidance. And I, I had a lot of questions and things I was trying to control as best as I could.
Here are just a few of my Google searches from early in my son’s life:
- How do you calm your baby?
- Why won’t my baby calm down?
- Different nursing positions.
- How to get my baby to latch?
- When should I pump?
- Should I pump and nurse at the same time?
- Will I ever sleep again?
- How do you swaddle?
- How do you treat hemorrhoids?
- How often should I nurse?
- How do I know if my baby is getting enough milk?
- Should I swaddle during the day?
- How much should I hold my baby?
- How do I treat blisters on my nipples?
- Why is my hair falling out?
- Will my hair ever come back?
- How do I put my baby down to sleep?
- What is the best way to burp my baby?
- How hard should I pat when burping my baby?
- How often should my baby nap?
- How do I get my baby to sleep?
- Why is my baby crying?
- What is a good schedule for a newborn?
- When is it safe to leave the house?
You notice I said, “here are a few things” because this list is nothing compared to how much I have searched all together.
I would love to tell you that after he grew I slowed down with the whole Google obsession, but that would not be true and I always want to tell you the truth. More recent searches look like this:
- When should I do tummy time?
- How much tummy time should I do?
- How do I teach my baby to roll over?
- When should I feed my baby solids?
- What food should I feed him first?
- How do I prepare baby food?
- What if my baby is not turning over?
- How do I treat a clogged milk duct?
- How to help my baby like car rides?
- What do I need to be teaching my baby?
- When should my baby crawl?
- Why isn’t my baby crawling?
- How often should I bathe my baby?
- How do I get my baby to sleep in a crib?
- How do I sleep train?
- How do I sleep train without crying?
- When can I give my baby peanut butter?
- Why is his poop green?
- How often should my baby poop?
- When should my child start walking?
- How do I baby proof the toilet?
- Is my baby okay after hitting his head on the hardwood floor?
- on and on and on …….
This list goes on and on and on! Then, when I’m getting good at not Googling, my husband will do it without telling me and then tell me what’s wrong with our child. Then of course I need to go Google it.
Ya’ll it’s enough to make a person absolutely crazy! Then I had a light bulb moment (as Oprah puts it).
Maybe it’s okay to not know everything? Maybe it’s also okay not to control everything? I know, I know…it’s a crazy thought, but just let it sink in for a second.
After all if I’m true to myself and my beliefs I know that God is in control of my life and my son’s. He’s got us both. He is the one who chose me to be my son’s mom. He’s also the one who equipped me with the tools I need to be the best for my son. So, I need to trust Him and my own intuition (mommy gut) more.
I’ve been trying this way of living out lately and I’ve gotta tell you it’s way harder than it seems. Put my trust in God and trust Him to guide me. Sounds easy but it’s HARD!! Although hard stinks, it’s also what usually leads us to greater things. Being intentional to trust Him has not come natural but it has brought me more peace and confidence as a mother.
Instead of immediately going to Google, I stop, think pray and then act. If I still don’t know then …I Google!
But, I’m just trying to say that I need to trust my own gut more often. It’s faster, happier and there are way less Oregon Trail diagnosis that way.
So, go forth and trust mama! You so got this! Right?! Wait…let me Google it. (I kid, I kid)