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A Visit to Dad’s Work and Holiday Treats Turned to Self-Doubt

Yesterday was a big day in our book right now. We went to visit my husband, Aaron, at work. You may not think it’s that big of deal and I get it. I wouldn’t have either before having a baby. But now, it’s a big deal! Especially when your baby doesn’t like being in the car and the trip to dad’s work is about forty-ish minutes long.

Nonetheless, I thought it would be fun to take Aaron and the guys that he works with some Christmas treats! Lindsey is my name and spreading Christmas cheer is my game…or at least it was yesterday. So, I got the goodies ready the night before. The only problem was that they did not turn out nearly as “pretty” as I hoped they would. Exhibit A below…

(pay no attention to my VERY well used cookie sheet)

As you can see from the picture my treats turned out less than stellar. Last minute I decided to use Hershey Kisses instead of Rolos because that’s all Aldi was carrying at the moment. Well, I guess I didn’t need to bake them as long as I would have the Rolos, so when I went to put the M&M on top they just kind of slid off…real cute (not so much).

You may not think that this is not anything to get emotional about but it doesn’t take much to get me emotional. Especially at the end of the day when I’m tired and forever hormonal.

After seeing the outcome I got a little (or a lot) emotional. This one thing led to a myriad of doubts flooding my head. They went something like this…why can’t I be good at anything, some women make cookies from scratch and I can’t even melt chocolate onto a pretzel. Oh but it gets worse then the doubts started to trickle into everything else…doubts about my ability to be a mom, my talent as a writer. Phew! Who knew so many emotions could come from making treats!

But that’s how the enemy works, right?! It starts with something simple and then morphs into the bigger parts of your life. Thankfully I pretty much say everything that I’m thinking out loud (especially to Aaron) because he helped me shut it down real quick. Reminding me that those thoughts are not from Christ and that is not who He says I am. After a while I was able to refocus and get back in the right mindset. I know that’s a bit of a rabbit trail but it’s real and it’s how quickly negative thoughts move in, so if/when it happens to you be sure to shut it down real quick because they are just lies! Ok, back on track.

After gaining acceptance of my imperfect treats I wrapped them up (yup, I still took them to the guys).  I waited until Foster had woken up from his first nap and then we were on our way! As I mentioned this car ride is a pretty substantial one and Foster does not exactly love car time. He is MUCH better than he used to be, but he still not a fan. So, I make sure he has a plethora of toys to choose from in attempts to keep him happy. By the time we got there he had thrown all his toys on either side of him. I passed him my water bottle while I was driving in attempts to distract him and it worked! I think he likes things that aren’t toys more than his actual toys. But if my water bottle does the trick then I’ll gladly hand over my H2O instead of hearing him cry.

We made it! and with minimal crying and fussiness. Foster was so excited to see Aaron. As soon as he heard his voice he had a huge smile on his face, his arms and legs flail about and he started to make little babble sounds. He loves his daddy.

The visit was a success and well worth the preparation it took to get there happy and safe. And now I need a nap!


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